Highlights from this week in the “paradise” we call the pastor’s home include some humorous moments from watching the Southern Baptist Convention, and an embarrassing incident from our trip to Houston for my doctor’s appointment.
Family In The Spotlight
Since I was not able to travel to New Orleans for the Southern Baptist Convention, I was grateful that we could watch the proceedings on streaming video at home. At one point in the meeting, the President of the Pastor’s Conference brought his family up on the platform, and introduced them all, including his little grandson, to everyone. As he was making the introductions, Cheryl said: “I always enjoy it when they do that.”
“Good,” I said, “Well, when I get back to church I am going to start calling you up on the platform and introducing YOU to everyone!”
Cheryl HATES the spotlight. “I’ll shoot you if you do that!” she said.
I just smiled.
The Convention was a real blessing this week, as it gave me something to do while we were waiting for my appointment at Baylor Hospital in Houston on Thursday. We enjoyed the debates, information on the Convention, and a number of humorous moments as well. For example:
SBC President Bryant Wright: “And now for a report on previously scheduled business — Stan?”
Stan: “Mr. President, there IS no previously scheduled business.”
Wright: “Good report Stan.”
The Shirt Stains and the Doctor
Whenever Cheryl & I take a road trip, we enjoy stopping and getting breakfast on the way, and so on the day of my Houston doctor’s appointment, we stopped at McDonald’s before we left Moss Bluff. We had not driven a couple of hundred yards when I took a drink of my Dr. Pepper. (I LOVE the McDonald’s Dr. Peppers; they are always very sweet, and they are always the same!) Well this was a less than happy experience however, because as soon as I took a sip, a wave of Dr. Pepper slipped from under the lid, which was not put on tightly enough, and poured all over the front of my white golf shirt. I exclaimed (nothing obscene mind you!;) and was chagrined: “Really? We have not even gone a mile towards Houston, and I have already spilled this all over the front of me. I can’t stand things like this!” Cheryl said we’d have to put some Tide stain stick on it after a while, but I just dabbed the liquid up with a napkin and forgot all about it – until later!
At the doctor’s office, the nurse left the exam room and said that Dr. _____ would be in soon. A few minutes later, in came a young, beautiful Indian doctor-ess. I guess I am a true male chauvinist, because it truly never occurred to me that the “doctor” might be a woman! She asked me a lot of questions, listened intently, checked my heartbeat, etc. and then left for a few minutes.
After the doctor left, Cheryl said: “I could hardly keep from laughing. When she was listening to your heart, all I could see was those Dr. Pepper stains on your shirt – one where it hit at first, and then a real big one where it all pooled on your belly!”
“Really?” I said, dismayed.
“Yes,” Cheryl said. “I so wanted to make fun of you but I didn’t do it in front of her since she was so pretty. But I know she could see it!”
“Great”, I said, wryly.
Then Cheryl made up for her earlier restraint with a long hearty laugh – which, by the way, I had the privilege of hearing over and over the rest of the evening whenever she thought of my shirt stains again!
Give Him a Hug For Me
I wish you could have been at our house Sunday night, when Cheryl came home from church. I had been sitting in my recliner all night (shocker – that is about all I do these days! :/ ) and had been doing some work on a message to share when I get back to church. Cheryl walked in, stood right in front of my chair, and commanded: “Stand up!”
I said, “What?”
She repeated: “Stand UP! I had ALL of these people tonight give me hugs, and tell me to give them to you for them, and that is what I am going to do, RIGHT NOW!”
(For the uninitiated, Cheryl is rather infamous around our church for not wanting hugs, especially from women. She doesn’t mind them “quite” so much from men! So I reluctantly stood up. Then Cheryl immediately “mugged” me with a hug: “This one is from Carmen Miller!” she said enthusiastically, squeezing me as hard as she could. “She gave me this big bear-hug to give you!” Then: “This one is from Mrs. Wagstaff …” and so on. By this time I was laughing uncontrollably, so Cheryl let go, and I fell back into my chair. If you were one of the “huggers”, don’t worry – “mission accomplished”! I got your hug! And it made the perfect ending to another week in … “Paradise”!