I Corinthians 13:4b    

     Last year, in Santa Cruz, California, a family went on an outing together at a state park close nearby.  They made tacos, including mushrooms they had picked at the park – but unfortunately, the mushrooms were poisonous.  The family was rushed to the hospital, where fortunately a doctor had received FDA approval to try a new antidote, which had come over from Europe, and which was able to cure the family of the poisoning. 

     I think we know that not all “poisoning” comes from something you ingest; there are things that poison our hearts, and one of the greatest is the poison of pride.  But it is also a poison for which there is an ample and effective antidote, in the love of God which comes to us through Christ Jesus our Lord! 

     This morning we are continuing our study of I Corinthians 13, “The Real Thing”, a study of Biblical love.  We are in the midst of examining the 15 words which describe love in I Corinthians 13:4-8.  We have seen that agape love is patient (it has “a long fuse”) and it is kind: it actively does good even (and especially) to those who do not deserve it.  Today we are going to combine the next 3 qualities, because all three spring from the same root: the root of pride.  Verse 4 concludes: “Love … is not jealous, does not brag, and is not arrogant.”

I.  The Poison: Pride

     A few months ago we saw in the Book of Habakkuk that pride is the root of all sin.  Pride, in its many manifestations, leads to all sorts of sins, and it is destructive to relationships of all kinds.  In our fallen human spirit, none of us likes to see others do better than we do.  Pride says like the fallen king of Isaiah 14:14, “I will make myself like the Most High”!  As we saw in our Habakkuk study, pride is the very root of sin.  It says, I do not want to obey God, I will do what I want to do!  It leads to what we see here in I Corinthians 13:4, “arrogance, bragging – and then jealousy when we see others raised above us. 

     Years ago, Jonathan Swift, the satirist, wrote this humorous and insightful poem:

“We all behold with envious eyes

Our equal raised above our size.

Who would not, at a crowded show

Stand high himself, keep others low?

I love my friend as well as you,

But would not have him stop my view;

Then let me have the higher post;

I ask for but an inch at most”! 

     I think Swift did a masterful job of capturing the heart of jealousy and pride in that little ditty.  Just make sure that we are “an inch” above our companions – not much; just an inch – just so long as we are higher than they are.  That is the essence of pride.  When pride rears its ugly head, which it does in all of us, because we all have sinned, and thus we have all been tainted with this poison, it ruins relationship of all kinds:

     A)  It creates jealousies and a harmful competitive spirit on the workplace. 

     Back in the 1980s’, Cornelius Bennett, who was a linebacker from the University of Alabama, was drafted by the NFL and went into contract negotiations.  Among his demands were that he wanted $1 more than the record rookie salary ($11 million for 10 years) that Brian Bosworth, who had been drafted out of Oklahoma by the Seattle Seahawks, was being paid!  He wanted $1 more than the other guy? That was not a business consideration; $1 more would not make or break him.  That was just pride speaking!  It wasn’t a matter of what he needed; he just wanted to be above the other guy! 

     How many times does that kind of consideration poison the workplace?  People are jealous of others’ success; jealous of others’ salary or benefits; they end up being boastful, bragging about their accomplishments, comparing themselves with others.  Instead of creating teammates, it creates competitors.  Pride is destructive in the workplace.

     B)  Home life can be contaminated by jealousy and pride also.

     One of the famous scriptural examples of jealousy among brothers is from the Book of Genesis, where Joseph is given his many-colored coat, and is given some special revelation from God in a dream, and his brothers were jealous of him, and conspired to do away with him. 

     The home was created by God to be the most basic source of love and support and nurture, but sin poisons everything – even the home!  And so homes become places that are poisoned with pride: husbands who are arrogant and proud in their relationships with each other. 

     I remember counseling a husband and wife years ago in another state.  They came to my office, and the wife had some legitimate concerns, but the husband’s only response was: “I am the husband; she is to submit to me; I can do what I want!”  It was just pride and arrogance.  Yes, he was the husband; and the husband is to be the head of the home – but the husband is also to love his wife like Christ loved the church, and laid down his life for her!  But pride had poisoned that home – and it does many others as well: husbands lording it over their wives in pride, wives despising their husbands, an ungodly competitive spirit and jealousy among brothers and sisters.  Many homes which should have been places of refuge and love, have instead become poisoned by pride.

     C)  Unfortunately, even the church is susceptible to it:

     In fact, one of the reasons God had Paul write I Corinthians 13 was that pride had poisoned the church at Corinth.  They had all kinds of manifestations of pride among them, which were just poisoning the church.  They had divisions all through their fellowship, boasting, arrogance, jealousies – all of which came from pride.  Paul wrote in I Corinthians 1:11 and following:

“For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you.  Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, ‘I am of Paul’, and ‘I of Apollos,’ and ‘I of Cephas’, and ‘I of Christ.’  Has Christ been divided?  Paul was not crucified for you, was he?  Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?” 

And he went on to address those divisions in the next chapters.  But this is the kind of thing that had poisoned the church: pride, superiority, jealousy.  “I was discipled by so-and-so.”  “I was baptized by this guy”, “I was saved while HE was preaching”.  The battles of pride continued over spiritual gifts: “I speak in tongues and you don’t” – “well, my gift is greater” – and on and on!      

     And of course, it was not just the church at Corinth which had those manifestations of pride.  We have it in our churches today, too:

— Why does THAT pastor get to preach at the pastors’ conference instead of me?

— Why did THEIR class get the larger Sunday School room?

— Why did THEY get their budget raised and mine was cut?  MY ministry is more important?

— How come everybody talks about how good THEIR ministry is?  MY ministry has brought more into the church than theirs has!

— Why did THEY get the solo; why did THEY get the lead part? 

— Why does everyone think THAT person is so spiritual?  I know just as much as they do!  Why is THEIR opinion considered to be more important than mine?

     Pride manifests itself in churches today in many, many ways: in the form of arrogance, boasting, and jealousy.  And it is poison.  Jesus said, “By THIS shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you LOVE one another.”  The single greatest witness to the world that we have, according to Jesus, is our love for each other, but if we have pride and jealousy instead then we have no witness and it is absolutely destructive not only to our church, but it totally ruins our witness to the world.  It is absolute poison to the church. 

     It made the news last year when an embittered Alabama fan took poison and spread it under the two famous Toomer’s Corner oak trees at the University of Auburn, where the fans congregate, and where they drape the trees with toilet paper after an Auburn win  . This man, in an evil and hurtful act, sneaked in at night, and poisoned those oaks with a poison deadly to those trees.  He then called a sports talk show and gleefully bragged about the poison he had introduced. 

     In the same way, I think the enemy of our souls must gleefully rubs his hands together at how he has crept into the bride of Christ here on earth, His church, and secretly introduced the poison of pride.  And he wickedly sits back and watches how it divides people, turns them against each other, and cripples the work of God on earth, and tarnishes His glory in the eyes of men.  We must not allow that poison of pride to do its destructive work in our church! 

II.  The Antidote: Love

     What is the antidote to the pride which poisons so many relationships?  The antidote is love – not just any love, but agape love; the love of God which we receive from Him when we are saved, and which He implants into our hearts through His Holy Spirit.  That kind of love, I Corinthians 13:4 says, is the antidote for the poison of pride.  It says it “is not jealous, does not brag, and is not arrogant.”  When we have agape love, the Bible says here, there will be 3 manifestations of it: it will not be jealous, will not brag, and will not be arrogant. 

A)  It will not be jealous. This comes from a word which literally means “to boil.”  That’s a pretty apt word; jealousy of another “boils” in a person’s heart and mind!  But agape love is NOT jealous.  What does that mean? 

     It does NOT mean, husband or wife, that you are free to go run around with other men or women, and then say to your spouse: “Love’s not jealous!”  That is not what this is talking about.  There is a legitimate kind of jealousy – a fear of being displaced from one’s rightful position.  It is this sense of jealousy that God Himself possesses: He said in the Ten Commandments, “I Yahweh am a jealous God” (Ex. 20:5) – that is, He does not want to be displaced from His rightful position, as the undisputed top priority in our lives.  So never being jealous, no matter what a person does, is NOT what this is talking about. 

     What it IS speaking of, is not being jealous OF the person whom you love.  It means you are not jealous of the successes of your husband or wife, or of your brother or sister, or the other people at work or school – and especially that you are not jealous of how God blesses and uses anyone in your church.  Love is not jealous. 

B)  It will not brag.  C.S. Lewis called bragging “the utmost evil” – it calls attention to ourselves, and acts as if WE had done something, which is the exact opposite of praise, which gives God all the credit.  It goes hand in hand with jealousy; jealousy tries to drag others down; bragging tries to build ourselves up.

C)  In the same way, love is not arrogant.  This word means literally “not puffed up” like one of those “puffer fishes” that “puff themselves up” when they are threatened, to make themselves look bigger than they are, or to look unappealing to their predator.  That is a very picturesque description of pride; being “puffed up.”  In our own pride and insecurity, we often try to “puff ourselves up” as if we were something that we are not.  We do this to make ourselves look better than others. 

     All of these things: jealousy, bragging, “puffing ourselves up”, are manifestations of pride.  And they destroy relationships.  But when you have the God’s agape love in your life, it is the “antidote” for all of these.  Agape love is “not jealous, does not brag, and is not arrogant.” 

     Jesus Himself is the great Example of this.  Bruce Ware, in his wonderful little book on the Trinity entitled, Father, Son & Holy Spirit, writes: “the 3 Persons [God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit] are … never jealous over another’s position or specific work, never prideful over one’s own position or work, and they are always sharing fully the delight in being the One God and accomplishing the unified purpose of God.”  In other words, each Person of the Trinity rejoices in the other and what they do; there is no jealousy among them.  God the Father points to the Son, and says: “This is My Beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”  Jesus does everything to the glory of God the Father.  But the Holy Spirit is not there saying, “Hey!  Don’t forget about ME; I am God, too, you know!”  NO!  He rejoices in magnifying Jesus’ name!  There is no jealousy, bragging, or pride in the perfect relationships of the Triune God. 

     And THAT is the perfect model of love for us – especially in the church, but also in every relationship in which we are called to love.  Real love is not jealous of the other’s success; rather it rejoices in it. 

     One of the most famous and endearing love stories of all time is that of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, who lived in the 1800’s.  They both were poets, who read each other’s poetry, and eventually fell in love and married.  But it was interesting: during their lifetimes,Elizabeth was the better known poet; she was well-received, whereas the public was indifferent to Robert’s poetry.  But they tell us that Elizabeth was an astute critic, and she realized that Robert’s poetry was actually much better than her own.  She confidently predicted that after their deaths, he would be regarded as the greater poet – and the sweet fact is, she looked forward to that.  In her love for Robert, she was not jealous of what were greater works than her own.  She looked forward to the day when he, and not she, would be recognized.  THAT is what it means here when it says that love is “not jealous.” 

     And that is EXACTLY the kind of love the Bible tells us here that we are to have for each other in the church.  We are not to be jealous of each other, or boastful, or proud towards each other.  We are to rejoice with God’s goodnesses towards each other, with no tinge of jealousy or pride.  This means:

— You’re not jealous of things that people have.  If they get a new car, you are not jealous of it; you are glad for them.  The Bible says: “Rejoice with those who rejoice”!  Be happy about the possessions, and attainments, and successes of others.  In fact, this is a good indicator of whether you really love someone.  Do you want to know if you really love someone?  If you do, one of the marks of it is that you will be thrilled at their blessings!  So if you are jealous of what they get or do, it reveals a lack of love for them on your part!  Let that be a measuring stick for you: if you are jealous of someone, you need to pray about loving them more – for “love … is not jealous”! 

     I think of my sons, who are all going into the ministry.  My son David has taken ministry classes  at Louisiana College, and the Greek study he had at LC is as good or better than the Greek I got in my masters’ study at seminary!  But I am not jealous of that; I rejoice in it, because I love him.  My son Michael has famously said that he wants to be a preacher like me – only better!  I say “amen” to that!  I hope he is twice the pastor that I am!  I am not jealous of my kids and what God does with them in ministry; I rejoice in whatever God will accomplish through them, because I really love them.  “Love is not jealous.” 

     And this is not only for families and other relationships, it is to be exactly the same way in the church, too.  We are to LOVE each other with agape love, which means that we are not jealous of each other.  It means:

— You’re not jealous when someone else preaches and more people seem to respond.  You in God’s goodness in what He has done!

— You’re not jealous of the other choir member who gets a solo, and sings it well to the glory of God.  What IF someone else gets the solo – even what people consider to be “your” solo?  What are you singing for?  Singing in church is not a platform for you to “showcase” your musical abilities; we sing, or play, or whatever we do, for the glory of God.  If someone can sing that solo better than I can, and God is glorified in it more, then I should be the first to be REJOICE in it, because our purpose here is not a platform for our pride, but to glorify God!

— In the same way, you’re not jealous the other teacher who is recognized for sharing great truths from the word of God; you rejoice that God’s word is being effective! 

— You don’t get jealous when someone else’s class grows, and they have to have a larger classroom – maybe even your own!  That could be a bitter pill to swallow for many!  But love will not be jealous.  It rejoices in God’s goodness – for we are all part of one body! 

— You don’t brag about how many you saw saved; how you led someone to the Lord, how your class has grown – you give all the credit to God – which is not being humble, by the way; that is where the credit BELONGS!

— It means that you don’t act like there is nothing that you can learn from someone else.  If you think there is nothing that God could teach you through some other person, some seminar; that is outright pride.  Love is humble, and is willing to receive from others. 

     John the Baptist was a great example of this.  In John 3, when John’s disciples came to him and pointed out that everyone was leaving him, and going to Jesus, a lot of people – even in church, even in ministry – would have been jealous, or pointed out how many people their ministry had reached, etc. But John didn’t.  He just said, “He must increase, and I must decrease.” (:30)  THAT is exactly how we are to relate to each other’s successes in the church.  We are to rejoice in the increases and blessings that God gives others, in genuine agape love. 

CONCLUSION:

     One of the most heralded examples of love in the Bible is that between Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and his friend, David.  Jonathan’s father Saul was very jealous of David.  David was a successful warrior in battle, and so a saying went around among the people: “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his ten thousands.”  Saul was so eaten up by jealousy for David that it virtually drove him mad, and he lost his kingdom.  But Jonathan, his son, was entirely different.  He was not jealous of David.  Even though he knew that David would probably become king – in HIS place! — he did everything he could to help David, and bless him.  And he did it because he loved him.  I Samuel 20:17 says, “He loved him as he loved his own life.”  The story of Jonathan’s agape love for David will be remembered as long as human history lasts.  Likewise, the jealousy of Saul will never be forgotten.  My question for you today is: what will YOU be remembered for?  Will you always be remembered as a person of great pride, of how boastful you were; of your infamous jealousy – or will you be remembered as a person of exceptional, agape love?  It must be one or the other; it can’t be both – for “love … is not jealous.” 

INVITATION:

     If you are really a Christian today, you realize that you have NOTHING to be “proud” of; you are only saved by God’s grace.  You don’t “deserve” anything; and you need to stop acting like you do.  If you are really a Christian today, you have received God’s love and kindness – even when you didn’t deserve it!  So when you think about it, it should not be hard to share that same love with others — and to do it without jealosy or pride.

     The question is: are you really a Christian?  Have you humbled yourself before God?  Is His love in your life?  Do you have the “antidote” for the pride that poisons every relationship in your life?