Once again, I find myself uniquely qualified to write about this topic, because it doesn’t look like I am going to be preaching tomorrow morning.  I have had a cold since Wednesday, went home from the office with it Thursday, and since Friday have had a very painful sore throat, and cannot raise my voice above a low whisper.  I have tried a number of home remedies, including tea, honey, etc., but nothing has worked – yet!  I am still holding out hope for an “overnight miracle”, as I know that there are people praying for me, but if the present course holds, I will not be preaching this Sunday.  Ever wonder what goes through a preacher’s mind on such an occasion?  Here’s your opportunity!  I don’t know if these are a “typical” preacher’s thoughts or not, but several things come to mind:

One of the first is: “What did I do to deserve this?”  Did God punish me with this because of something I have done?  This theology is not hard to track down – in fact, I just preached on it last week!  It was the philosophy of Job’s friends, who figured he must have done something wrong to deserve all of his calamities, and of Jesus’ disciples in John 9, who asked if it was the blind man’s, or his parents’ sin which caused his blindness.  Part of last week’s sermon comes to mind: that all calamity is not a direct recompense for sin, as Jesus reminded us in the Luke 13 story of the 18 who were killed in the tragedy of the Tower of Siloam.  I preached that to the congregation last week – now it is time to preach it to myself, I guess! 

Then I wonder: “Is there really no way I can preach tomorrow?”  Perhaps I COULD do it if I really tried?  I keep second-guessing myself.  At times like that, it is good to get a second opinion.  I asked Cheryl if she thought I was making the right decision.  She told me there was no way I should try to preach.  As usual, she is right.  It would be a pathetic sight, and the whole service would be about whether I was going to make it through or not, and not about the message itself.    The service is not supposed to be about me.  And at this point I do not think this remnant of my voice would last 5 minutes.  I can’t even project my voice from the living room to the kitchen!  Barring a major reversal, I will not try to preach tomorrow.

Which brings me to my next point: I sure hate to miss this Sunday.  We are right in the middle of a series I am entirely caught up in: Isaiah 53 and “Suffering Servant/Glorious King”!  Every week I look forward with anticipation to my study time, when I get to wrestle with the amazing truths of what Jesus did for us in His Substitutionary Atonement, which is the heart of Isaiah 53’s message.  And the Lord has been doing some neat things in our church the last few weeks: we had two professions of faith last Sunday; our Sunday night attendance has doubled this spring; I keep hearing of people the Lord is speaking to in special ways.  I hate to miss, and stop all of that momentum.  But then again, I need to remember that it is not about ME, right?  “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses” – “and some in pastors” we might add to that!  Can God still continue His work if I am not there?  Absolutely.  I preach that all the time: the ultimate success of our church does not come from any man; it is not the preacher; it is what God does.  I guess this is a time for me to “practice what I preach” and entrust the church and its work to the One who is really responsible for it all.  Hmmm… ok, “NEXT?!!”

That point about “the One who is really responsible” is a big one.  Why DO I have to miss?  Why now?  If it is not because of my sin, what IS the reason?  Well, that is where we have to trust the Sovereignty of God.  Psalm 103:19 says, “The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all.”  God is in charge.  He is on the throne.  When we don’t know why one thing or another happens, we have to trust the One who is over all.  That is what our faith is all about.  God has a plan; He has a purpose.  We can count on that.  We just don’t always know what His plan or purpose is.  Perhaps there are some things I am going to learn through this – or some way that Ray or James, who will be filling in for me, may grow as they step up, or perhaps God will do something special or different in our church, or speak to someone in a unique way through this situation.  We may not know what His plan is, but we can count on the fact that there IS one.  We just have to trust in the Sovereignty of God.  He is in charge; I am not.  I just need to relax and trust Him.

Well, for a guy who can’t raise his voice, that is a lot of sermonizing!  I guess even when I can’t speak, I can still do a lot of preaching — to the one who often needs it more than anyone else in our congregation — MYSELF!

(P.S. – I’m still in hopes of an overnight miracle though … )