Following are the latest stories from inside this pastor’s home, from the week of May 20-26 …

Potty Training

Our neighbor across the street is potty training her little boy, and she was having trouble with it, so she posted about it on Facebook, asking her friends for hints.  I laughed when I saw it, because it reminded of a time a couple of years ago, when I said to  Cheryl, “I don’t remember what we did to potty train our kids.”  She said, “There’s a good reason for that — because ‘WE’ didn’t!”

 Fun, Fun …

Most people who know me well know that I am not any kind of “handyman.”  In fact, Cheryl actually enjoys doing that kind of thing around the house, which works out to the satisfaction of both of us.  Some time ago, I ordered a subscription to a “do-it-yourself” magazine that Cheryl had mentioned wanting, and the first issue arrived this week.  When I gave it to her, she was very excited, and said: “Oh doesn’t it look so fun, all these pictures of projects for home and garden?”   Me: “Uh … not really …”. 

 WHO did that?

Since I have been limited the past few weeks with my illness, one of my few consolations as well as links to the outside world has been Facebook and blogging.  The other night, I read to Cheryl & Michael the following status from a fellow minister:

Congratulations to Bub (the boxer) and Nucy (the chorky) on bagging their first rat. Bub chased it into the gutter. Nucy went in the gutter and drug it out. She used her patented reverse pivot spin move, slung it to the ground and one bite…one kill! And now the blood lust is consuming both of them.

After I read it, Cheryl exclaimed: “WHOSE status is THAT?!” 

I said, “He is a minister and works for the Convention, telling about how his dogs killed a rat … why?”

Cheryl: “Oh …  I thought you were reading about his WIFE!” 

That would have given the whole story a rather … unique turn, I suppose!  (Turns out, Michael thought the same thing, so it must’ve been my poor reading!)

 Name That Movie Line

One of the constant unofficial pastimes around our house is fitting movie quotes into our conversations.  Not a day goes by that someone does not use a movie quote instead of their own words, as it fits into various scenarios.  Following are some examples:

Me to Paul, who was home studying for a seminary test: “Slow going?”  (“Princess Bride”)

Paul back to me: “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but this isn’t as easy as it looks, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me.”  (The next line from “Princess Bride”!)

During the last weeks I have not always felt much like eating, and Tuesday was a day like that.  Michael walked by as Cheryl was encouraging me to eat something and added his two cents worth: “Eat, Santa, eat!”  (“Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer”)

One of my favorite movie lines to use for some time has been: “You’re my responsibility!”  The problem which has annoyed me to no end has been that I couldn’t remember WHAT movie that quote came from.  I knew it was a feminine voice, with the word “responsibility” pronounced in a childlike staccato: “respon-si-bil-i-ty!”  For example, if Cheryl thanked me for getting her something, I have responded: “That’s ok; you’re my respon-si-bil-i-ty!”  But it has taken the fun out of it that I have not been able to think of the movie source.  Well, today that changed.  I did not have a good morning, and so after my quiet time I went back to bed to rest.  Cheryl put a movie on while she worked around the house: “My Man Godfrey”.  As I lay on the bed I could hear most of the lines of the show – and then suddenly, I heard IT: “the line”, from the lips of Carole Lombard to William Powell as “Godfrey”: “You’re my respon-si-bil-i-ty!”  I laughed out loud – and immediately came out to watch the rest of the show.  You never know what other lines from that movie I might need to use in a conversation soon! 

 Gray Hair & Green Eyes

While we were waiting at the doctor’s office last Tuesday, Cheryl reached over and pulled something off my back.  She held it in front of me and demanded: “And whose blonde hair is this on your shoulder?!”

I looked at it and said, “That is not blonde; it is gray – and it is MINE!”

(Did I ever mention that Cheryl has green eyes?  😉

 Popping Your Bubble

Josh & Libby came in late Saturday night so Josh could go with the FBC students to camp.  Michael plopped down on the couch right by Libby. 

“Michael”, Libby protested, “You sat down inside my bubble.” 

“Your ‘bubble’?, Michael asked. 

“Yes,” Libby said, “I have a bubble of space around me which you are not to enter – that is my ‘bubble’.”

To which Michael replied: “POP!” 

Well, tomorrow (May 28th) is Cheryl’s & my 30^th anniversary.  I hope to have a special edition of “Paradise” ready for it – some of funniest stories from three decades of marriage.  Perhaps I will entitle it: “30 Years InParadise”?