Did I Do That?

Cheryl hates the little lawnmower we have here in “Paradise”; she has lodged complaints against it on several occasions. Thus I must admit that I was more than a little suspicious when she “accidentally” left it out in a pouring thunderstorm Monday.

“Oh, did I leave that out there?” she said, innocently. I couldn’t help but think of the mom who “accidentally” broke her husband’s risque lamp in the movie, “A Christmas Story”!

One Day …

Michael, walking through the house one day last week, mumbled: “I’m looking forward to the day when I can answer my kids’ question, ‘What are we having for dinner?’ with ‘Whatever you want to make for yourself!’ That will be a sweet moment!”

Picky, Picky

On her way to the store, Cheryl said, “You told me you needed toothpaste; what kind would you like?”

I said, “I got Pepsodent last time, and I didn’t like the taste of it at all. I am using two little ‘sample size’ tubes right now, and I can’t stand either one of them. So don’t get ‘Crest Complete with Scope’ or ‘Colgate Sensitive Pro-Relief Fresh Mint.’ I just want the regular Colgate.”

Cheryl walked away writing down my notes, and mumbling: “Someone’s got too much time on his hands!”

Back-to-School

• Even though this is supposed to be “Paradise”, we still started back to (home) school last week. After his first day of study last Monday, Cheryl was grading papers, and suddenly said to Michael: “Come here.”
  Michael: “Oh no … the words I dread ….”.
• Cheryl was grading one of Michael’s papers one day, and noticed his answer to the question: “What are some barbaric activities that we still practice today? Michael’s answer: “Football.”
• When I came home for lunch Thursday, Cheryl told Michael: “Review your daily Bible study assignment with Dad.” Michael: “If we wait until Josh comes in tomorrow, then we can have a big debate over it!”
• At one point, I asked Cheryl: “Is Michael finished with his science experiment already?” Cheryl: “Yes, and he did very well with it. He read the directions, performed it exactly – he did a GREAT job!” Then I heard her walk into the kitchen, and moan:”Oh, but his cleanup … Hopefully this isn’t ‘pass/fail’!”

Felines

Michael shared some “observations” while he was carrying the kitten around: “I’ve noticed that Eponine has a number of different looks. She has her ‘normal’ cute look, and then she has her ‘you just woke me up from my nap, now I’m going to kill you’ look!”

I said, “Well, she is a female!”

Freudian Song?

I was going through my closet one evening last week, sorting through the suits and slacks that I could no longer wear, when I was suddenly aware of the fact that I had subconsciously been humming out loud the old song: “Those Were The Days My Friend”!

Make That A Large

I came into the living room after getting dressed for my first Wednesday evening prayer meeting in a couple of months, clad in my new larger Dockers. I presented myself to Cheryl & Michael and said: “Here I am: Supersized!”

Checklist

I wish you could have been here in “Paradise” Wednesday night to listen to Michael review Proverbs 31 and share which of the qualities of the “Excellent Wife” he felt like Cheryl was and wasn’t living up to:

Michael: “The heart of her husband trusts in her?” Cheryl: “He does, don’t you, Shawn?” Me: “Uh-huh.”

Michael: “’Her lamp does not go out at night’. Yours does, Mom, you’re the first one in bed!” Cheryl: “Yeah, but I rise up while it is still dark!”

Michael: “She is like merchant ships?” Cheryl: “I used to be the SIZE of a merchant ship!”

Michael: “’With her earnings she plants a vineyard’; no.” Cheryl: “Yes I do; I have my garden in the back yard! Well, I plant it with SHAWN’s earnings …”.

Michael: “Gives portions to her maidens; you don’t do that!” Cheryl: “Eponine is a ‘little maiden’; I feed the cat!”

Michael: “All her household are clothed in scarlet?” Cheryl: “That’s OU colors! I’ve got that one!”

I could only sit and shake my head …

Geography

I was pretty woozy from my POTS at the church dinner Wednesday night, and I said to Cheryl afterwards: “I’m pretty disappointed with how my body responded tonight.”

Cheryl: “Shawn, that is just where you are right now.”

Me: “Well, I don’t want to be here!”

That’s OK

Friday and Saturday I made a point to try to totally rest, so that I might be able to preach both morning services on Sunday for the first time in months. Just after lunch Friday, I told Cheryl and Michael that I was going to take a nap.

Cheryl said: “Be sure to close the bedroom door, because I am going to do the dishes in a minute and I don’t want to wake you up with all the clanging.”

Me: “Oh, I was going to take it on the couch, but I’ll go to the bedroom instead.”

Cheryl: “No, you can take it there (in the living room).”

I said, “No, I’ll take it in the bedroom so you can do the dishes.”

Cheryl: “No, take your nap on the couch — I don’t WANT to do the dishes!”

Mid-Course Correction

Josh & I often debate our differing views regarding Calvinism, and sometimes it has gotten a little too, shall we say, “vigorous” for Libby’s taste. She has said that Calvinism is to be off-limits when she and Josh come home for the weekend.

Saturday, Cheryl & Libby had gone to run an errand, and while they were out, Josh & I got to talking — fairly “vigorously” — about the “forbidden topic.” I was in mid-sentence when Josh interrupted: “Libby is at the door!”

As Cheryl & Libby walked in, I immediately changed my sentence to: “ … and so now they say he may transfer to McNeese.”

Josh: “Really? That is something!”

Me: “Yeah, that is what they are saying.” 🙂

Just keeping it peaceful and easy here in “Paradise” 😉

P.S. — for those of you who were worried, Cheryl has not used those wooden boxes she made as coffins for her family — at least YET! Here is her progress so far: