Last week, among other things, the family in the “Little Condo on the Prairie” took another “trip on a tankful”, and had one of our first dealings with our 14-year-old son Michael and … GIRLS!
A CHIP OFF … WELL, NO, NOT REALLY …
Every Sunday, Michael goes right over to the KFC next to church to eat, while Cheryl & I finish talking with everyone after services and make our way over to get him. This way he gets to go ahead and eat, and we don’t have to feel guilty about staying late and fellowshipping. This one particular Sunday, Cheryl sent Michael a text to tell him we were in the parking lot waiting and he could come out now. He didn’t respond, which wasn’t too unusual, so I went in to get him. When I walked in, I was flabbergasted. Michael was eating with … a GIRL! I did my best to play it cool, and keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. I casually introduced myself to the beautiful young lady, who was very well-mannered and handled herself confidently. I tried to chat naturally for just a moment, then told Michael not to hurry, that we would wait in the car for him whenever he was ready — then tried not to trip over myself going out to the car to tell Cheryl! Turns out, he had just casually invited this girl from the youth group to have lunch with him after church, and she accepted. A few minutes later, they walked out of the KFC, and I asked Michael if she needed a ride home. “No,” he said, nodding in her direction as she walked off, “she drives her own car.” I looked over my shoulder and saw her getting into her shiny new white Lexus. I’ve gotta tell you, this whole thing was a shock to my parental system. And Michael? He is light years ahead of where I was at age 14, I can tell you that. I couldn’t even think about talking to a girl without breaking into a cold sweat!
THE LAST LITTLE BIT
Cheryl & I had had a discussion one night over whether we should save the last remaining bit of her homemade spaghetti pizza. With all of us eating, there were only about 3 bites left. I thought maybe we should save it for a little snack, but Cheryl thought it would be a waste of time.
Some time later she came into the living room and announced: “I put up that last little serving of spaghetti pizza.”
Pleasantly surprised that she had acquiesced to my wishes, I exclaimed: “Oh good!”
Cheryl: “No, I mean I ‘put it up’ — in my mouth!” Then she started laughing! I should have known!
UN-AMERICAN
Michael, trying watermelon: “I don’t like it; it is like someone took the flavor and watered it all down.”
Cheryl: “That’s ok; just go and throw the rest of yours away, and then rinse off your plate and put it in the dishwasher.”
Josh: “And then go flog yourself for not liking watermelon!”
HOSPITAL TRIP
Last Wednesday, I had to go in for a routine blood test. Since I was unsure about several aspects of the visit, including uncertainty about exactly where I was going, I thought it might be something of an adventure. But it was made much more pleasant by the accommodating employees of Norman Regional Hospital. I was supposed to fast for 10-12 hours beforehand, which typically is easy with an early morning test — but since I have great difficulty sleeping, it was in fact something of an effort not to eat during the night, but somehow I managed to refrain. I did get a couple of hours sleep, then threw on some clothes and a hat and headed to the lab at Norman Regional. As I drove, I thought, “I probably shouldn’t expect to get the best treatment, considering that I am wearing casual shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt, a golf hat over my unwashed hair, and have not shaved.” But I would be pleasantly surprised.
I entered the hospital, but couldn’t find the lab right off. I guess I looked bewildered, because a surgical nurse stopped and asked if I needed help finding something. “I will admit that I do!”, I said — a magnanimous admission, I thought, for a man! Forthwith, the nurse took it upon herself to personally escort me halfway across the hospital to the sign-in desk. A very nice start to my visit!
I gave my name to the woman at the desk, who told me that someone would come and get my check-in information soon. But I had only been sitting down for a few moments when she came over to my chair and said, “You know, usually they check you in in the rooms, but I can do it myself.” Surprised and grateful, I told her thanks. “Well,” she said, “I saw on your form that you were having a fasting test — we need to get you out of here asap so you can have some breakfast!” “That is just what I was thinking,” I agreed enthusiastically!
As she entered my information into the computer, she asked me: “Would you like a printed copy of our privacy policies?” Thinking of the piles of medical papers I had already tossed, I said “No, thanks.” Then I added: “You all don’t sell our information to the National Enquirer, do you?” She assured me that they didn’t. “Good,” I said. “I always hate it when they print my medical information in there, with my picture splashed all over the front page!” (I think they were treating me so well, I felt like I was a celebrity — that is the best excuse I can come up with, anyway!)
I thanked her again for getting me on my way quickly, and headed to the next station. Again, my wait was only a couple of minutes, and I was being escorted to the lab. “Let’s see,” the nurse pondered, “What are we going to do for you?” “I think it is just a routine blood test”, I said. “Yes, I see that. Looks like we are only going to take one tube of blood,” she explained, matter-of-factly. “That’s easy for YOU to say!” I protested! “You’re right!” she laughed. But before we’d finished chatting the next couple of sentences, she was bandaging up my arm, and I was headed out the door from what was a surprisingly pleasant trip to the hospital, thanks to several employees who went above & beyond to be helpful and friendly. It’s a good challenge for many of us in our jobs — and especially in our churches! — to do the same. But for me that day, it was “mission accomplished.” Next stop, McDonalds!
ONLY HAVE EYES …
As we were getting into the car a few days ago, Cheryl said: “Did you notice that little blonde over there as we were leaving? She was trying to catch your eye.”
I responded flatly: “Well, she didn’t.”
Cheryl added: “She caught mine instead!”
I laughed. That should teach her!
EXPECTATIONS
I was telling Paul & Cheryl how much I looked forward to the OU football season. “It sounds really fun, with the stadium this close,” I said. “Plus, they are breaking in a new quarterback, and have to replace the whole defense, so it is not like I am expecting them to win every game. It makes it to where we should just go and enjoy the game without any pressure for them to be really good.”
Paul shot back: “Kinda like your golf game, huh Dad?”
Now that was a low blow.
COLLEGE ARCHITECTURE?
We took another “trip on a tankful” last Friday, this time visiting Fort Washita in southern Oklahoma, just outside of Madill. As usual we saw plenty of interesting things along the way, including several churches, a tractor pulling a trailer full of peanuts in Madill, and the fort itself. On the way home we drove through Tishomingo (you can’t make these Oklahoma Indian names up!) where we saw a sign indicating that Murray State College was in the town. Just after we saw the sign, there was a building off to our right that gave Cheryl pause. Thinking it was the college, she exclaimed: “Oh dear, it looks like a nursing home!”
I laughed: “That IS a nursing home!”
shawnethomas 